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Guidelines for Supporting Social Engagement, Initiation, Flexible Thinking, and Emotional Regulation


Speak less, slow your communication, make deliberate pauses, and allow more time for a response.

This strategy is the one most people have some difficulty with.

Wait until you get a meaningful response.Use and extend the duration of exaggerated nonverbal facial and body gestures to communicate. Make your communication be visually noticable. (Shrug shoulders as a question, show exaggerated facial expressions of emotion, e.g. agreement, disagreement, like, dislike, etc.)

Use declarative statements such as “Gee, I wonder …….” “I think………” “I see a ……..” “I am feeling………” “There is a problem with …..” “You look like you are thinking about…..”
In general try communicating with 80% declaratives and 20% imperatives or questions.

Spotlight your speech (verbal acknowledgements, pauses, etc.) or actions (high fives, smiles, etc.) to emphasize Spencer’s successes and competencies in: referencing you, coordinating himself with you, being flexible, and regulating his emotions.


Avoid using fast, complex speech without pauses.

Avoid repeating or adding more information to your initial communication.

Avoid overusing verbal communication

Avoid overusing questions and commands. These discourage initiation, promote dependency on others, and don’t support the child's mental or relational engagement.

Avoid overlooking competence. The child needs help recognizing what he does well

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